My husband thinks I am crazy...

After starting my kids in dance and loving it (didn't take a photo of their first day of school but you better believe I got a TON on their first day of dance!).... I couldn't hold myself back any longer!  I finally joined an advanced hip hop class!  I joined because I was feeling like I needed to be me not only a mom. ( I do not want to say just a mom as if to imply that it is a second rate title, but am trying to imply there are more facets to me than mother hood alone. Please don't get me wrong, I LOVE to be a mom! I ADORE my four little ones ages 1 - 7, but being a good mom means I need to be the whole ME God made me to be. 

I was talking the idea over with my husband seeing if we could squeeze this dance class into the budget, when I started to voice my feelings of  intimidation and fears.  I have always been a pretty good dancer, but come on I just had my 34th birthday and I haven't been in any kind of dance class for over 15 years.  I FULLY expected my husband to say " you will do great honey!" or "just go have some fun who cares what others think."  Instead he blurts out "what are you thinking?  It is an advanced hip hop class!  Just go to the beginner class (for kids my sons age!) and start at the beginning.  He said this to me at my birthday party no less, as I am eating cheesecake (SCANDAL!) and feeling the years..

This is my daughter on her first day of dance..
I felt just like that today on my first day! Nervous, shy, excited..

Needless to say I was totally nervous today at my first class jumping into choreography that has been being taught all summer!  BUT I am determined to prove my (super wonderful) hubby of 13 years wrong.  This can be conquered and enjoyed!  I am on a mission. To prove him wrong (of course) and to develop a part of me that has laid dormant for some time but is dying to be developed!

My daughter is the one who is the only one on her stomach!
That is also how I looked today at my first class too .. lost!

We are on a VERY VERY tight budget.  The kind of budget that makes you think twice before buying  disposable diapers when you know you have 15 perfectly good cloth diapers at home!  However, the class is very reasonable and is after the kids are in bed (8-9 pm) and adds that necessary element of personal development all moms need to enjoy.  I am such a better mom when I have gotten a little break and got my blood pumping while getting to just be me for a short while.

I strongly believe that being passionate about the things God has put in your heart IS NECESSARY to truly being the whole complete person he has made you.  We are better able to reflect the image of Christ when we are developing the talents, gifts and passions he created inside us.  We are better able to reach others with the love of Christ when we are being ourselves in the natural healthy environments our passions lead us to. Not to mention the kids love being with happy mommy so much more than grouchy overextended mommy!

God has made us all uniquely different and placed us in the environment he has us in to be a light where it is a natural fit, and where we more easily relate to the people around us.  A missionary or pastor is no more special, holy or used by God than you can be when you are in the place God has you, seeking Him, loving him and loving those He has put around you.  I know some of you do not believe me but look at Esther in the Bible.  She was just a young orphaned beauty pageant contestant.  She faithfully served the Lord in the place He put her and seized the opportunity to seek God and bravely follow his leading to save her people from total destruction!

I feel like God spoke something to my heart the other day with a picture.  As I was pondering all this (being passionate, pursuing your passions, developing your talents and bearing the image of Christ while fulfilling your destiny) I saw a picture of  all these different little tops spinning.  They were shaped like icicle style Christmas ornaments but they were all slightly different shapes and colors.  As the tops were spinning slightly wobbly and just outside of control they were fuzzy and you couldn't get a clear picture of their shape and design but as they straightened up spinning faster but in better control you could see their beautiful design much more distinctly.  I felt that the Lord was giving me a picture of how we more clearly represent him and his image when we develop the individual character, personality, and physical talents that He has give us.

We are NOT all called to give up whatever we are doing and become typical missionaries or pastors.  We are called to where our talents and gifts make a way for us and where He has placed us!  He does not want a bunch of cookie cutters or he would have designed us all the same with the same looks, gifts and passions. You are who YOU are because God has a plan for YOUR life in your circle of influence that only YOU can fulfill.  You are uniquely special and all the beauty and talent and heart that God has put in you is not for you to sit on or merely enjoy for yourself.  It is your gift to the world. Your piece of the puzzle that helps to clarify the picture of who God is and what he is like.  You have to be faithful to develop your talents with excellence for Gods glory even if it is something that seems frivolous to some.  Go bless God!  Be the most joyfully passionate person you can be, and by doing so give the world a truer picture of the beauty and wonder of God.

This quote says it all!...
"God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him." -John Piper